A is for Asexual

An ally, by definition, cannot be the “A” in LGBTQQIAetc. because an ally is someone who is affiliated with and supportive of a group or category that they are not a part of. LGBT or any combination of those letters is not a club or organization you can get membership in, it’s a collection of sexual or gender identities. It is the term for people who are not cis-gender and/or heterosexual; people who are gender and/or sexual minorities. If you are cis-gender and heterosexual, then by definition you are not LGBTetc. Just as someone who is LGBT is not heterosexual or cis-gender. The “A” stands for asexual, a minority so invisible, most people aren’t even aware they exist. Not ally. Allies are important, valued, and needed. But allies are not sexual or gender minorities. They are friends, family, and people who care about others. They may face discrimination themselves because of it. But they are not the “others” they support. They have their own terms: Allies of LGBTQQIA people, Heterosexual/Cis-gender supporters of LGBTQQIA, not LGBTQQIA themselves. And that’s OK. Be an ally, please; don’t take someone else’s identity.

(note: I know the “alphabet soup” for defining sexual identity is questionable to some and can include more or less letters depending on who you ask, and I personally don’t think it’s the best way to define things, but it is the most commonly-used term and we don’t to my knowledge really have any better alternatives at the moment.)